Romance is like a spark — it requires oxygen, space, and a small element of surprise to flourish. However, what happens when it`s quenched by monotony? A new survey has revealed that married couples stated that they want to rekindle spark in their relationship but that doesn`t necessary mean they want to split with their partners.
In the study by Gleeden, an extramarital dating platform, 42 per cent of respondents say predictability of everyday life had extinguished the romance from their relationship. However, in a confusing contradiction that reflects the state of modern relationships, many were not inclined to walk away.
Sybil Shiddell, country manager, said, “This isn`t just a simple complaint — it reflects the frustration of over 1,500 urban men and women surveyed throughout India, from Delhi to Guwahati, with different ages (25-50), different professions, and different marital statuses. The aim of this study was to explore the evolving notions of intimate emotional and physical space, and how people are occupying their emotional grey zones — particularly when they are committed on paper but seeking `more` than simply being mundane.”
So, why do so many people emotionally check out but continue to stay?
“Same tiffin, same token of love” – When romance becomes routine
Do you remember your honeymoon phase when everything was new? Unfortunately, that period is long gone for many respondents. The 42 per cent who admitted to being in a romance rut cited numerous reasons such as having repetitive routines, feeling disconnected emotionally, and feeling that both partners were no longer trying to be romantic. The emotional high of surprise dates, flirty texts, or spontaneous weekends away has been replaced with scheduling a dentist appointment, buying groceries. The problem is not love, but effort.
The bedroom blues are real
The report also claims that 38 per cent of urban couples claim they are no longer sexually intimate, or they have limited intimacy from the outset. For many, sex has become a box checked off, or worse, a once-remember chapter. The spark has faded, but not because they don`t want it — many are having their needs met outside of it. This doesn’t always lead to divorce, it just leads to people yearning for what they did not get and that it truly hard hits.
“I do… but I might”
The survey also pulls back the curtain on the internal fight: modern Indians are more open to exploring emotional and sexual needs but still prefer to keep their marriages intact. “…not that people want to leave it behind — they just want more from life.” Interestingly, a significant percentage of women in their 30s – 40s indicated that they feel their emotional needs go unmet. Their exploring outside of their marriages is not about rebellion — it`s about finding themselves again.
“Happy but not happily ever after?”
The story of love is richer today. 61 per cent of women say that they still respect their partner and care for them deeply, despite many feeling emotionally uncertain, confused, lonely. The notion of duality – affection without attraction, companionship without chemistry, is characteristic of a significant portion of Indian urban marriages today. This may also be why so few actually want to agree to separate – things such as financial security, kids, social pressure, or even comfort keep them together. This is arguably no longer about love or breakup – but about learning to live with less, and to seek more elsewhere.
“Cheating is out; parallel fulfillment is in”
The other side of this generation is that they aren`t ashamed or guilty. Emotional fulfilment is becoming a self-prioritized need, rather than a social taboo. Gleeden does not just come with affairs, it is an escape, a conversation, a dream. 55% of its users are not even looking for anything physical, rather they wanted emotional validation that was lost at home. It is less about betrayal and more about balance.
Regardless, this study ended with a clear but complicated message – the routine is killing romance, but divorce is not the answer for many, instead, they are reworking their ideas of fidelity; intimacy; and fulfilment.